If Now Was Then

I spent the last week interviewing new candidates for ministry. To be a United Methodist minister you have to complete 3 years of seminary then go before 3 committees and defend your "call,"answer questions about a sermon preached, and explain your doctrines and theology. If you pass that, and 40% of them did not, you are examined for 3 years as to how well you "perform" in a church setting...then you do the committee thing all over again.

I don't think I would pass now. I'm not sure how I passed "then." That was 38 years ago. Maybe they were more lenient back then. I know I had trouble with some of the doctrine stuff...and the audio tape of my sermon did not work the Sunday I taped it so I had to preach it again the next day... this time in an empty room.

One of the Board of Ministry members "back then" said the quality of the tape sounded almost like it was done in an empty room. I did not respond. He then asked me if I preached this sermon in front a congregation and I simply responded, "yes." Well, I did the first time.

So is my whole ministry in fact built upon a lie? Anyway, after examining these new folks last week I'm glad I"m on this end of the interviews. I never took a preaching course, my beliefs "then" and "now" are not exactly orthodox, and my call was one I continually wrestled with. I think if the tables were turned and those folks with whom I am now on the Board of Ministry got the chance to put me down at the "other" end of the table, I might be selling cars for a living.

The truth is that the longer I live the bigger God gets. Doctrines that are the basis of hard questions asked of candidates do not seem nearly as important to me as making ways for people to find the various handles that open doors to paths that lead to an authentic spiritual journey. Preaching for me is now more of an exercise in engaging imagination than technique.

I really felt for some of my younger colleges that didn't "measure up." Some of them should not have. Some of them probably should not be ministers, but some of them simply did not answer the questions the right way or did not preach up to par.

Ah but alas my credentials now hang on the wall. I'm "in" so to speak. Now my test comes most every day when someone sits across from me and asks questions with their lips or with their eyes as to why they have cancer or if God really is involved in the challenges they are having with their family?

The "examination" now is done by a large number of faces into which I offer "the Word" most every Sunday. I can sometimes tell if I'm passing or failing by looking into those faces.

I'm glad it's "now" and not "then." I've grown comfortable with my hybrid heretical thoughts. They are like an old pair of shoes that I wear because I have no interest in breaking in new ones. I'm too old and set in my strange ways to finally "learn" how to preach...and...in terms of examining the credibility of my "call"...well...God simply would not let me alone and I could not escape. Jonah's fish is a good image and I was spit up on the shore long ago only to find that this wonderful and crazy thing called ministry is what I simply have to do...

Blessings
jody