A Final Goodbye

It took a while to get there. They wanted to make sure we could view her favorite place when we said our final goodbye. Her favorite place was "Nippers."

Nippers is a multi-colored outdoor bar overlooking the Sea of Abaco. Caroline learned to swim in one of its two small pools. So she got to do two of her favorite things while visiting Nippers: dance and swim.

The boat's motor ceased its gentle roar. I reached into a small gray box and pulled from its darkness the wrapped ashes of Caroline. Her tired eight-year old body was now reduced to this small package. The stain of the cancer that she fought so bravely all her earthly life I suppose was still contained in those ashes. But as the sun came through the clouds and the boat slowly rocked back and forth the wind whispered to me, "Ah but she is not in the ashes or trapped by some disease."

But still there was the need to say some kind of goodbye at the foot of Nippers. So along with a few friends and her beloved parents I took Caroline's ashes and scattered them into the vast sea. I spoke some words but now I almost do not remember what I said. The words were also tossed into that waiting motion of the same waters that God used to create all that is.

I think I said something like, "O Caroline we give you back to the Creation from which we all come. This is what remains of what we remember of your small body but as we give it back to the sea we know that you are not here, but we are. Your body we commit to the oceans but the real you, no longer trapped and held down by disease, is dancing with God."

I then turned to Caroline's parents, Kirk and Mary, and placed my hand on Mary's bowed head and prayed, "O God, hold Kirk and Mary who love her so. We know you loved her even more. Give them healing one day at a time...gently...and we shall know that dear Caroline is completely healed in the wonder of your love."

Then.... after some tossing of flower petals her way and some healing tears the boats engine cranked and we went to Nippers. I discovered why she loved it so. From its open air dance floor you could see a breathtaking view of the ocean...and there was music...loud music...and people from all over the world, literally, were dancing. We toasted Caroline with some of the local beverages, we ate some really good food...gosh did that girl love to eat....and yes, we danced...O did we dance...we danced with people we did not know and who did not know Caroline...because that is what she would have done.

We bought caps and shirts consisting of loud colors...some of them pink because she loved pink...so that in the future on days when the sun may not shine as bright as we need we shall put on the bright colors and have people view what we wear as they ask, "What is Nippers?" And we'll get to tell Caroline's story. We'll get to tell of her love for life. We'll help her live again as best we can...but the truth is our story will only be at best a tale told from the side of a "glass darkly" but she....sweet Caroline lives just the other side of that dark glass. She dances with the God of sea and sky.

It was a final goodbye...but not really. We will never be the same because of her. Her ashes may now be part of God's big Creation but her spirited life is now more alive than ever. I'm going to stop now and go put on my Nippers shirt.... We love you Caroline....we always will.

Bless you,
jody