When Preachers Lose Faith

That was the title of the recent article in the newspaper. I suppose those who read it and who were not one of "us clergy" probably thought those words have the same ring as a life insurance salesperson who does not have their own policy, does not pay a premium, and in fact does not really believe in life insurance. Would you invest with such a person?

We who "wear the robes" and use the lingo read that article with different eyes. We know that using the language does not mean that we always live the language. Hey, listen I understand that you do not want your personal trainer to have a "spare tire" around his or her middle section so you probably do not want your pastor to....well...have doubts.

Well don't get too close. You might discover the "man behind the curtain" (or woman of course) does in fact have some doubts. I am sure you will find a different variety of doubts depending on the individual clergy but if you peer behind the robe and the ritual you'll find some garden variety uncertainties.

I remember a certain person in one of my churches being very disappointed when one of her former pastors "crashed and burned." It seems he used poor judgment when it came to hanging around a certain woman. He barely survived and was allowed to stay in ministry but he was moved and given a much smaller church. This disappointed woman simply said to me after sharing her sadness at his "failings", "Well, I suppose ministers are human too."

I turned to her and said, "If you only knew how human it would scare you." She seemed startled.
Do you folks out there in the blog-0-sphere think that when we get ordained that we go through some kind of security check point that somehow renders us well...not human? Check out the David story in the bible. Old David was "chosen of God" to be the leader but wow was he ever human. Seems he could write wonderful lyrics that later became Psalms but he could also bribe, steal, and become the material for afternoon soap-operas with that Bathsheba affair.

Yea, we're human alright, real human. So you might suppose we have doubts and even crises of faith...you know like those people we try to serve and care for. We did not receive an inoculation against the ups and downs of the spiritual journey. We are on the road, the same road as the "flock" we attempt to shepherd.

I've written a book about all this because I know that we who spend so much time giving other people water can become thirsty ourselves if we are not careful. I've learned the hard way that my weekly preparation and study for the sermon is "not" my spiritual stop by the well for water...it is my "job." It is up to me to stop by the well for just me....to drink for me...not my people...for me. Handling the water is not drinking the water.

So...shock and awe...we doubt at times. But take heart, in the midst of all those doubts is the reality of what Alan Jones, one of us, taught me. He said, "The opposite of faith is not doubt, it is certainty." If you are certain and sure of everything you do not need that faith that often times has to take a leap or believe in spite of rather than because of...

I wonder if the guy who responded to Jesus that day and said, "I believe Lord, help my unbelief," was investigating being a minister? In the valley of doubt, dark as it is, guess who is present...a shepherd..."the" shepherd...thank God.

Bless you,
jody